Hello there everybody! My name is Bianca and I cannot believe 2014 is already here in Europe! I am literally freaking out! Usually, I post about beauty, fashion etc. But today I wanted a fresh start. I know everybody says that at the beginning of the year, but I actually mean it. I wanted to start this year with a jump-start!
When I look at last year, there were so many oppurtunities that I didnt do or I decided to ignore. I was kidda getting bored with my life & I felt like I needed something that would get me excited again. I got new hobbies, new friends, tried out new experiences, but honestly I felt like I wasn't happy with any of them. I have never told anybody about this but I think since its a new year its time for me to come out of my shell. In the past year I had secretly been dealing with panic-attacks and anxiety. I felt so alone and when I went to school, I had to deal with people who would consantly annoy me, when I was already feeling pissed. This mean I went through a lot of mood-swings and I had bad relationships with my family and close friends.
My mood-swings got so bad that one day at home I just freaked out. I was playing with my younger brother and he accidently tipped over my stuff and I ended up shouting at him. I was in a mood, he was in a mood and I just wanted everyone to just leave me alone. I got irritated at the littlest of things and even going to school to face my friends was a challenge. There were times I wanted to come out and just have someone just listen to me, but I was kind of the listener to everyone else. I became indecisive at whether I would talk to my school's guidence consellor, my best friends or my parents. In the end I should have talked to anyone of them, but I didn't. I am literally shaking as I write this down...
By the time October came around, I needed something to get my mind of things like stress, anxiety, panic-attacks, mood-swings etc. So I decided to start of this blog. I had done other blogs before but this time I didn't want to be alone. I then decided to do this with 2 of my good friends Laura and Zahra. And in the end this has become one of the best decisions of 2013 yet! I don't have that many attacks anymore and my anxiety isn't really ruining my life anymore too. I was greatful for everything in 2013, but I can't say it was my best year. So I decide that 2014 will.
So this is why I need a fresh start. And I hope you will join me on my journey.
~Bee. (aka Bianca)
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